POSTING # 20

Planning for the Bicentenary of the War of 1812; Helping a Fellow B&B Entertain Two VIPS; A Gracious Queen at Windsor Castle; Short Stuff (Mini-Stories about Kids and Pets)


Planning for the Bicentenary of the War of 1812

If organizers and volunteers in Niagara-on-the-Lake have their way, we are all going to know a lot more about the war of 1812 by the end of 2012.

Ideas, big and small, are being proposed and considered.

One of the big ones is to have two symphony orchestras, one on either side of the Niagara River playing Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture simultaneously. One would be located in Fort George, in Niagara-on-the-Lake and the other just across the river in Old Fort Niagara in Youngstown, NY.

Can’t you hear the canons booming across the river!

And, of course, there will be re-enactments of famous battles, and of Laura Secord’s courageous night-time trip through the bush to alert the British troops to an imminent attack by the American forces.

I toured Fort George recently and one of the visitors asked the guide which side had won the war.

The guide laughed, “I always find out where the visitors are from. If there are both Canadians and Americans in the group, I say that no one won. After all, the war ended in 1815 with no land having been gained or lost.

“If, as with this group, there are only Canadians, I say that we won because the Americans invaded us and they had to leave with empty hands.”

Our guide was the ultimate diplomat!


Helping a Fellow B&B Entertain Two VIPS

A few years ago Pat and I were checking in for two nights at a Bed and Breakfast near Norfolk in England.

After showing us our room, the owner said, “This is a bit embarrassing but I was wondering if you were planning to have dinner with us tonight or tomorrow night, and if you were, could it be tomorrow night, please?’

Pat and I looked at each---we hadn’t made any plans for dinner in Norfolk.

The woman carried on, “I hate to put pressure on you but tomorrow night we have Sir Percy and Lady Anne (not their real names) staying with us and they want dinner. To tell you the truth my husband and I feel a bit intimidated by people with titles and we would love to have another couple to, you know, break the ice.”

We said that as fellow B&B owners, we would be delighted to help. We would have dinner with Sir Percy and Lady Anne.

The next day I went to the Norfolk Public Library to look up Sir Percy. It turned out that before his retirement, he had been chairman of a very large British firm and was knighted by the Queen for his contribution to the British economy.

We met the couple the next afternoon in the lounge of the B&B for pre-dinner cocktails. They had just come from grouse hunting on a nearby estate with the Queen.

They were in their late 60s or early 70s, pleasant looking with ‘educated’ accents, suggesting they had gone to good public schools (that is, private schools).

Lady Anne wanted to know about our children and whether we had any grandchildren. (Sir Percy and Lady Anne had 4 children and 8 grandchildren). Pat said that we hadn’t any grandchildren yet but were still hoping.

“Don’t worry,” Lady Anne said, “Once they start to come it will be just pop, pop, pop.”

Just then the B&B’s two dogs came into the lounge to see us. I am not sure of the breed but they were large, with short gray hair and long snouts.

One of them sniffed Sir Percy’s pant legs and then wandered off.

Lady Anne started a story about the people who owned the estate where they had been hunting. As she talked, the other dog sniffed her tweed skirt and then--- how can I put this delicately---started to push his snout between her thighs.

Lady Anne carried on with her story, apparently oblivious to the dog.

Suddenly the dog yelped, jumped back and ran out of the lounge.

Lady Anne finished her story.

We still don’t know what she did to the dog. Did she step on one of his feet? Or, did she give him a sharp toe in the chest---or somewhere else perhaps?

Pat and I were both watching her as she told the story and neither of us saw any movement of her legs or feet.

We were impressed.


We decided that breeding and a good public school education must equip the British upper classes for just about any eventuality.


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After cocktails, we changed and came down for dinner. The food was delicious and the discussions were relaxed and fun.

On our way to bed, we thanked the hostess for a fine meal. She whispered that she was so grateful. We told her that everything had gone well---she should be proud.


A Gracious Queen at Windsor Castle

We had breakfast with Sir Percy and Lady Anne the next morning---there were no dogs around.

After they had left, the hostess told us a story about a charity that she was involved with.

The charity was trying to find a new way to raise money. Someone mentioned that the Queen sometimes allowed charities to use the grounds of Windsor Castle. Our hostess told us that she and many of her friends had horses and it suddenly came to her that people might like to buy tickets for a ride in the beautiful grounds.

The charity had no trouble selling tickets for the event.

On the day of the event, the hostess and some of her friends were riding along one of the paths when a Range Rover pulled up. The woman driver leaned out and called, “I hope you are having a fine time.” It was the Queen!

The hostess said she was just able to stammer, “Yes…. Your Majesty”.

The Queen wanted to know which group they were with. The hostess told them the name of the charity.

“Oh’, the Queen said, “I am so pleased, that’s one of my sister’s favourite charities’.

Then the Queen added, “I’m afraid I don’t have any money with me at the moment, but could we meet at the gate in about an hour?’

The hostess said she told the Queen that it wasn’t necessary but the Queen insisted that she wished to make a donation.

In an hour, the Queen drove up to the gate in her Range Rover and handed over a generous gift.

Now, that’s a gracious Queen!

Short Stuff (Mini-Stories about Kids and Pets)

A few years ago, a woman in Grimsby called to reserve a room at our B&B for relatives, a couple from England. She told us that the man, her cousin, had just retired after working at Buckingham Palace for many years. She said she was sure that her cousin could tell fascinating stories about the Royal Family but that he was from ‘the old school’ and just wouldn’t talk about the Royals.

The Grimsby woman brought her relatives to the B&B and we instantly liked them.

When we had lived in Yorkshire, we were shocked the first time we heard someone say that so-and-so was ‘homely’. We learned that ‘homely’ to them meant someone who is homey, cozy, or comforting.

The British couple was definitely ‘homely’. They liked their room, commented on its decoration and furnishings and asked us questions about our family.

At breakfast the next morning, the English folks were joined by a Canadian couple. When the Canadians heard about the Buckingham Palace experience, they tried to pump the man for stories. The man turned away the requests with good humour.

Finally, he said he thought he could tell one story.

He had finished work for the day and had returned to his apartment in Buckingham Palace. There was a phone call from one of the on-duty staff saying that the Queen would like to see him.

Wondering what she wanted, he hurried to the Queen’s personal apartment. Thanking him for coming, the Queen explained that her dogs ---the famous corgis--- had pushed their balls under her bed. They were insisting on having their balls and weren’t prepared to settle down for the night without them.

Our guest described how the Queen and he---on their hands and knees on either side of the bed---managed to recover the balls.

What a fine story!

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See you next Sunday for Posting #21 with more stories from our family’s universe! If you have comments or suggestions, please leave a comment at the bottom of this posting, or you can email me at johnpathunter@cs.com.